21 common questions with 21 detailed answers
Discover what sex parties are and what goes on at them, who attends them, whether they accept singles, how to overcome nervousness,
how to join in, whether it is okay to just watch. These and many other questions are answered below based on our experience of
providing adult parties for more than three decades.
- Q. Are adult parties the same as a sex parties?
A. Yes. They mean exactly the same thing. We use the term, “Sex Party” to avoid confusion with the term “Adult Party” which can
also be used to describe any kind of party for adults.
- Q. Are sex parties the same as wife-swapping parties?
By “wife-swapping parties”, you probably mean the kind of swinger parties that caught the public imagination years ago when several
popular movies and TV dramas featured couples throwing their car keys into a pot and drawing them out to decide who has sex with who.
In reality, few if any, swingers parties work that way. The turn-on for most couples is to watch their partner having sex with someone
else, so swapping partners and going off in private to have sex, would not be what most swinger-couples are looking for.
Also, some couples set their limits to “own partner sex only”. They get pleasure from doing so in the presence of other couples and
from watching but do not wish to go any further than that.In any case, swinger-couple parties are only one type of sex party.
Others sex parties have singles attending in various ratios.
- Q. Who attends sex parties. Are some of them weirdos or kinky and people I would not feel I wanted to
get to close to?
The people who attend sex parties are a typical cross section of society. Of course there will always be people you do not feel
attracted to. The situation is no different from how it would be in any other aspect of your life. You wouldn’t dream of having
relationships with people you are not attracted to when you meet them elsewhere and exactly the same goes when you meet them at a
sex party. If someone you don’t fancy asks you to engage in sex with them, you simply say “No thank you”.
- Q. Do people really have sex in front of everyone or do they all go off to private rooms?
A. Yes people do have sex in front of other people but it would be quite unusual for it to be in front of “everyone”.
More typical behaviour is for groups to enjoy sex in so called “play-rooms”. These will normally operate an open-door policy that allow
other people to call in and watch without necessarily participating. For further information about what goes on at adult parties, read:
What happens at a sex party
Some sex parties also provide private rooms which are most often used by swinger foursomes who do not want others to join or watch them
having sex.
- Q. Although I feel really turned on by the idea of group sex and having sex in public, I’m actually very shy
in other social situations. This makes me feel very anxious about actually going to a sex party. Do you have any ideas how I might
overcome my anxiety?
It is not uncommon for people to feel like you do. There are plenty of celebrities who suffer from social anxiety and who are basically
shy individuals. Despite this, their desire for the limelight and being the centre of attention is the driving force that compels them
towards stardom. It’s as if they are part introvert and part extrovert. This is almost certainly the same for you.
The secret is to accept that you will feel anxious. There is no way to avoid it. But most of the other guests at any given party are
likely to be feeling the same way; especially the newcomers. Face the fear and you will then be able to release the extrovert inside of
you - that is the part which is dying to be an exhibitionist. Go ahead and lead the group sex.
The other thing that will help you feel less anxious is to attend your first sex party with a friend or partner. Use our
casual sex dating service to hook up with someone to go with.
- Q. Are there any sex parties I can attend without a partner?
A. Yes but frankly you will be missing out on the best kind of sex party!
However, there is no need for you to miss out because we specialize in helping
single males get invited to the other kind of parties.
For more details on this question, read our article,
'How single men can attend sex parties' and learn about three simple ways to get along to very best kind of adult parties.
- Q. Are single males allowed to participate at swinger parties?
A.Swinger party hosts usually require single males to be accompanied by participating females.
There are a few exceptions to this and by earning trust and reputation with some couples a single male can receive regular
invitations to some swinger sex parties that allow a small number of selected single males to attend.
To overcome this situation use the same strategy for finding partners
we suggested in our answer to the previous question.
- Q. I’m a bit overweight and well into my mid 40s. Would I look out of place and be a bit of a turn-off to
most people who attend these parties regularly?
A. No you really would not look out of place. The people who typically attend sex parties are a broad cross-section of sociey.
They are no more likely to be in great physical shape or stunningly good looking than any other people you meet elsewhere.
Far from being a problem, your age puts you into the main age group of people who attend (see below).
- Q. What is the usual age range of people attending sex parties? I’m a 58 year old male. Would there be any
point me going?
Whilst a lower age limit of 18 is strictly enforced at sex parties, few operate upper age limits. Where exceptions to this exist,
the party organisers will clearly state their required age range and only invite people selected by this criteria.
Typically at most other parties you will find a broad spectrum of ages, with a majority of guests being in their 40s.
At the lower end of the scale, it is unusual to find people who are under 25. At the upper end, you are unlikely to be the
oldest person present. However, a 58 year old man who does not have a younger female partner with him may struggle to find people
who welcome him to join in the action. This situation is best overcome by
finding a younger female to attend parties with.
- Q. Are there parties where I can just watch without joining in?
A. Sex parties are rarely one big free-for-all orgy. It is common for people to attend without actually having sex with any one.
Your level of participation is entirely up to you. This works out pretty well for most parties because there are usually enough
exhibitionists to balance the voyeurism that goes on. Just remember to make sure that your voyeurism is welcome by asking if its okay to
watch. If it isn’t, back off and find someone else to watch. The same applies to masturbating - always check first.
Occasionally a party will flop because nobody wants to have sex but if you are unlucky enough to attend such a party,
please try to accept some of the responsibility yourself - afterall, you were one of the people who had an opportunity to start
some action! Put it down to experience and look forward to the next party you go to being better. Nobody ever pressurizes anyone to
join in if they don't want to.
But please note that with couples invitations the male partner will not be allowed to participate unless the female partner does!
- Q. How do I join in with the group sex?
Ask before touching and never assume that you can just barge in, “creep in”, or assume that the other people fancy you just because
you are turned-on by them. If your request meets with a “no”, accept it gracefully and walk away.
- Q. I am a single female. If I go to a sex party, will I get pestered and touched by people I am
uncomfortable with?
A. It is a golden rule at all sex parties to ask before touching and to accept that “No” means “No”. However, it is always
best to bring a friend or partner. It will make you feel more confident and less vulnerable.
We can help you with this.
- Q. My partner keeps pestering me to go to a swinger party with him but I’m not sure that I would like it.
He says we wouldn’t need to join in if I didn’t want to but that doesn’t sound very realistic. What should I
Do?
A. Never agree to going to any type of sex party unless it is something that YOU really want to do. However, don’t let your concern
about having to join in stop you from going. Provided you are sure that your partner will not coerce you, nobody else will expect
you to participate in anything you feel uncomfortable about.
- Q. How do I find out whether a party has a dress code or ensure that it isn’t a BDSM or fetish party?
Most sex party organizers will describe the theme, dress code and other important details on their web-sites, in other listngs and
in the invitations they send out. If there are still details that you are unclear about, always get in touch with the hosts and ask
all of the clarification you need. Don’t accept an invitation to a party that you can’t get sufficient information about.
- Q. Do people use condoms and do I need to bring my own?
A. It is very unusual to find people at a sex party who do not use condoms for penetrative sex. You will also come across some women
who insist on condoms being worn for oral sex but this is uncommon at swinger parties. Some adult party venues provide condoms
but most do not. It is always best to bring your own in any case.
- Q. Are sex parties legal in the UK?
A. There is no law against holding or attending sex parties in the U.K. However U.K. prostitution law defines a brothel as being
premises where more than one person is being paid for sex. This law could therefore be used where prostitutes are employed at a
sex party (see below).
- Q. I’ve heard that some sex party venues are really brothels and the female participants are all prostitutes.
How true is this?
A. There are undoubtedly some sex party venues that regularly employ female prostitutes. Most of these are located in London and other
large cities. Single males pay substantial fees to attend and nearly always considerably outnumber the females.
Although genuine (unpaid) females and swinger-couples are welcome to attend, very few do.
- Q. Does a lot of drug taking and heavy drinking take place at most sex parties?
A. Sex parties are no different from other social gatherings in this respect. Venues are strict about not allowing drug taking on the
premises. There are inevitably some occasions when a small minority of people have a little too much to drink but this is not a
problem at most parties.
- Q. How old are the girls attending your adult parties?
A. There will usually be a range of ages attending any given sex party but the most common age group is probably about 25 - 35 years.
- Q. How many single females attend your adult parties?
A.The actual number of single females depends on several factors. Some swinger parties may allow single females to attend whilst
refusing single males. At the other end of the spectrum there are parties organized specifically to meet the needs of couples who
enjoy an excess of males sometimes to the extent of them virtually being "gang-bangs". You can read more about this at
What happens at a Greedy Girls Party
- Q. Will there be swinger couples attending as well as single females?
A. At most 'Greedy Girls Parties' there will also be some couples attending. These will be couples who enjoy liaisons with excess males.
